Jokes

Hi friends…I have a huge collection of jokes for u…Enjoy!!

•Sonu came home from the railway station complaining that he felt ill because he had ridden backwards for three hours on the train. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting opposite you to change seats?” his mother asked. “I couldn’t,” he said. “There wasn’t anybody sitting opposite me.”

•Once a boy said to his friend, "my father gets afraid when we both cross the road". The friend asked the boy, "why do you think like that?". Then the boy answered, "he always catches my hand while we cross the road."

Mother: Where is the telephone?

Son: Mummy, father said that the phone was dead. So, I buried it in the backyard.

•Once Santa Singh and some other country scientists came for launching a rocket.They started the counting 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 go!The rocket was still there.They tried it 3,4 times.

Then Santa said"Wait I'll try"

He climed up the rocket,first tilted to left,then to the right.He climed down,and then asked them to count.They started 10 9 8......go!The rocket went.

Everybody asked "How did u do it''.

Santa replied"In our country we start our bajaj scooter like that only...

•Once there was a competition held that one who can stay in a room with a pig for 20 days will be awarded Rs 15 lakhs. So 1st the pilot went to stay with him but after 2 days he came out saying I can't stay there.

Then an astrologer went he stayed there for 5 days and then came out saying I cant stay there.

Now Santa went in there and stayed there for 5, 6, 7, 8,9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 days.On the 15th day when the people out of the room were very excited to meet santa, the pig came out saying I cant stay there.

•A man gave an ad in a newspaper saying"Wife Wanted"

He got hundreds of letters the next day.They all said, "You can take mine"

• A blonde calls a mechanic 2 fix her car, he gets it goin in 2 minutes.

What was the prob?

Just shit in the air filter

How often do I hv to do that?

• Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

• Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

• A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'

He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'

• Two old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over & whispered: My butt is going to sleep. 'I know,' replied the other, 'I heard it snore three times.'

• Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?

A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

• A guy took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On his very first call, he introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll."

A man on the other end replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light!"

• Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?

Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

• Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I'll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start?

Santa: In 3 months.

• A girl proposed to Santa and he denied simply saying that in our family, we marry only our relatives. My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi , my uncle married my aunt and so on. So please excuse me !!!!!

• I took my secretary to lunch the other day, and I discovered she was not the old fashioned type. After two old fashions she couldn't type.

• Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.

There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord,"

And there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

• An army sergeant told Santa to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned.

"I thought I told you to go to the end of the line," barked the sergeant. "Why did you come back?"

"Because there's already somebody there!"

• A priest was praying for guidance: Oh God, grant me this knowledge: what is the meaning of life?

For a while, Creation was silent. Then a booming voice, sounding severely pissed-off, shouts from heaven: Read the F*#kin FAQ!

• A man is in the hospital after getting drunk and swallowing 120 coins on a bet. Doctors monitoring his situation say, so far, no change.

• Santa tripped on a broken curb and went to the hospital.

After examining him, the doctor said, "I have some good news, and some bad news for you. First of all, you'll never be able to work again."

Santa replied, "Okay, now what's the bad news?"

• An application for job came in with an applicant's picture attached. She was a pretty blonde. On the back of the picture was hand written: "Picture on front".

• What's the difference between me and a Viking?" Olli asked.

"No idea, said Ville."

"When the Vikings used to come home after their wars, that's when the real drinking began. But when I come home after a few drinks, that's when the real war begins."

• Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

This site has been designed by Sambhav Kundaikar and is meant for entertainment purpose only.